Reservoir Dogs

Director: Quentin Tarantino

Year: 1992

Language: English

Length: 1 hr 33 mins (99 minutes)

Staring: Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Steve Buscemi, Quentin Tarantino, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn, Edward Bunker, Lawrence Tierney.

Plot: After a, should be, simple jewelery heist goes terrible wrong, the surviving criminals begin to suspect that one of them is a police informant.

Review: I don't care what anyone says, this will always be my favourite Tarantino film. Every single moment in this film is 100% perfection. Every song is chosen beautifully. Tarantino's cameo didn't make me want to fight him. Just brilliant. I wish his new films could be anything like this.

I just can not say how brilliant this film is from beginning to end. Watch it now, if you havent already. Please. Go. Now. Shoo.

Tiny baby Tim Roth and his crying where it sounds like he's whiny and laughing. Also, gay undertone between him, Mr Orange, and Mr White is everything to me. Mr Blonde and the (in)famous scene of cutting that Policeman's ear off is more than iconic, its excellent. Also, Steve Buscemi making off with the money at the end is lovely.

Quotes: 'Nice Guy Eddie: Okay, first things fuckin' last!'

'Mr Pink: Somebody's shoved a red-hot poker up our ass, and I want to know whose name name is on the handle!'

'Mr Blonde: Eddie, you keep talking like a bitch, I'm gonna slap you like a bitch.'

'Mr Pink: Where's the commode in this dungeon? I gotta take a squirt.'

'Mr Brown: Yeah, yeah, but “Mr Brown”? That's a little too close to “Mr Shit”.'

'Mr Pink: “Mr Pink” sounds like “Mr Pussy”.'

Overall Rating: 5/5

Les Miserables

Director: Tom Hopper

Year: 2012

Language: English

Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins (158 minutes)

Staring: Hugh Jackman, Russel Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried, Eddie Redmayne, Aaron Tveit, George Blagden, Daniel Huttlestone, Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter.

Review: Just... those songs are so beautiful. I can't stop listening to them and singing them at the top of my lungs. I may even ignite some riots and rally against the bourgeois.

I want to cry and ramble and talk about this film and all of my feelings, but this is not tumblr so I shall show restraint. I will, however, mention Aaron Tveit looking like a grumpy angel with those curls and George Blagden falling under the curse of all those who play Grantaire: shipping (onesided) Enjorlas/Grantaire harder than anyone else ever.

Every set was fantastic, the elephant was a beautiful homage, their costumes were ridiculously on point, and every actor performed brilliantly. I love Tom Hopper's use of recording the singing and music live on set, you could tell the difference.

Okay so Russell Crowe wasn't the best, Stars was so beautifully done I still love it. 

I can't believe just how unbelievably amazing Sacha Baron Cohen was as Thénardier, every little action and note was utter perfection. I think it helps that he's usually a character actor and I beleive he truly became Monseiur Thénardier as he would Ali G or Borat. Helena Bonham Carter was her usual, wonderful self and I was every bit as impressed as I knew she would be. Better even.

Since this film was so incredibly perfect, I was so inclined to read a book over 1000 pages long from the 1800's, despite not being a great reader, and I know I'm not the only one. And really, if a film can inspire people to read more? I am all for it.

All i'm going to say is SEE THIS FILM, be prepared to cry.

Overall Rating: 5/5

50 Shades of Grey

Director: Sam Taylor-Johnson

Year: 2015

Language: English

Length: 2 hrs 5 mins (125 minutes)

Staring: Dakota Johnson, Jamie Dornan, Jennifer Ehle, Rita Ora, Eloise Mumford, Victor Rasuk, Luke Grimes, Marcia Gay Harden.

Review: Well. I saw that. I will never get that time back ever again. She's whiney, he's weird and they're both dumb. At no point is this film romantic, sexy or special. At no point was I shocked, at no point was I entertained, and at no point was I believing in this couple.

That's literally all I have to say about this film.

I am an avid tumblr user so I have seen and read a LOT of porn, and this was worse than anything I've seen. I read the book and it read like bad fanfiction. You could tell in every dripping word. How did this get published? How did this get so big?

Women, if you want to watch porn watch porn. If you want to read porn read good porn. It's okay. You can do it you know. You don't have to be ashamed. Especially for having kinks.

But, this? Ladies, respect yourself.

Overall Rating: 1/5

Skyfall

Director: Sam Mendes

Year: 2012

Language: English

Length: 2 hr and 23 mins (143 minutes)

Staring:Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Ben Whishaw, Judi Dench, Naomie Harris, Ralph Fiennes.

Review: Everything about this film is beautiful and perfect. Every outfit, every shot, ever scene, every actor, and every song. There is only one fault in this whole entire masterpiece and that is the busy train car being empty when it crashes.

It is funny, compassionate, sexy, and best of all thrilling. It was a roller coaster of fast paced action, building tension, and dramatic heartache, flittered with tidbits of charming comedy. 

Despite a film whose script was made up and not based on the book series of its titular character, it stayed very true to the stories, for me. 

I saw it twice in the cinema and I've seen it at home at least 10 times since and I still don't find it boring, if anything, i just pick up on more and more things to love about the film.

Q's absolute cuteness is my everything.

And the flirty gay scene was hella hot and I am all about that.

Bring on Spectre for 2015

Overall Rating: 5/5

Jupiter Ascending

Director: Andy Wachowski, Lana Wachowski (The Wachowskis)

Year: 2015

Language: English

Length: 2 hrs 7 mins (127 minutes)

Staring: Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Eddie Redmayne, Sean Bean, Tuppence Middleton, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Christina Cole, Douglas Booth.

Review: Okay. Just. Damn. Those visual effects were so seamless and stunning. As a huge fan of Mila Kunis and Eddie Redmayne's acting and Channing Tatum's butt I was so excited for this film and then I found out Sean Bean was in it I just- so brilliant. The trailer was underwhelming and made it look like it was just another Hollywood sham of an attempt at Sci fi but then I found out who it was directed by and instantly needed to see it.

The plot runs a little clunky at points but not in a way that is too distracting or annoying. Every single outfit Mila Kunis wears is absolutely fabulous, especially the Padme-esque wedding outfit, and daaaaaaaamn that girl's waist.

When the whole Sean Bean thing happened I just angrily growled “God damn it, Boromir.” But then the other thing happened and I was happy again.

I don't get the bee thing though. Like, has the Queen of England legit never been stung? Or is just a space queen thing? I just. Why, bees?

And the elephant man driving the spaceship being called Nesh was a nice little homage to the Indian Elephant God was a funny.

I still don't get why the gay brother was trying to marry his own mum, but whatever.

I loved it when she was willing to give up herself and family for the good of the world. Very Star Trek and “the need of the many outweigh the need of the one”. Which is so very unlike these sorts of films and was a very welcome change.

I am always about strong female character leads so give me more.

Overall Rating: 4/5